Dear Keith, All I Want From Milwaukee Is.............

This being the holiday season and all, I figured why not take the opportunity to write a little missive to the Big Guy and let him know just what to leave under (or not) the old Festivus pole. So Keith (sorry Santa, you're so "pre-iPad") without further delay, here's my list. Did I mention that I've been especially good this year?

1) An XR1200X. This bike flippin' rocks!! I had the opportunity to take one out for an afternoon (thanks McGuire Harley Davidson crew) and have never had as much fun on a Harley. It looks great, has reasonable power and actually handles...........yeah, real brakes!! It's not mainstream HD, which makes me more than a little worried that it may not be with us long, which would be a real shame, because this machine is a credit to the engineering elves in Milwaukee. For the record, I'd like the 2010 orange bodywork please.

2) Kill the Rocker. OK, you've actually almost already granted this wish, as there's only one model left in the lineup. Big Guy, what the heck we're you smokin'!? About three years after the OCC wannabe, "bling machine" chopper fad had thankfully peaked, HD hops on the bandwagon with arguably the most hideous creation ever to emerge from the workshop. I'd like to know who was in that focus group; I'm thinking a combo of West Hollywood stylists and second rate CEO's, but that's just a guess. You were late to the party, and you brought an ugly date........time to sneak out the back door.

3) Build a $9,500 Dyna. Don't get me wrong, I'm thrilled at the strides you and the elves have made reaching out and capturing younger riders (UFC sponsorship......nifty strategy my friend), but let's not spike the ball just yet. First off, it's not as if your competition has been introducing a lot of new product in the last few years (you noticed right!?), folks tend not get all twitterpaited about dusty three year old bikes tucked away in a corner. And financing? Even tougher to get than yours. Here's the deal, Harley connects with younger lads and lasses, always has......that ain't the issue. Affordability is......so why did you bump the price of the cheapest Dyna by a grand this year!? Naughty list. Let's not have the baby Sporty be the only ticket for the cash strapped among us. Give us a real HD, with a real motor for under ten grand. You can do it........you're the Big Guy!!

4) Try, just try, to build at least the majority of product sold with a Harley Davidson tag on it in the United States. Look, I know that those Wall Street creeps that actually run the North Pole won't let one single penny of additional profit fall from their icy grip without a fight, but it just frosts my pumpkin when I see "Made in China" right under the words "An American Legend" on the label in my jacket, or on that shiny new set of levers I just bought for the mighty "Paint Shaker" (my waaaay cool 2006 FLHRCI). The Motor Company lives and dies by its iconic American roots......the image was born here, built here, it wasn't created by Madison Avenue or a bunch of indifferent foreign laborers toiling under a dictatorship. Authenticity is a finite commodity, every time you sell "Genuine Harley Davidson", made in China, a little more of that authenticity just fades away..........until one day, a once great company is reduced to a lowly marketing firm, trading on what it used to be. Think it doesn't bug your customers? Ask 'em..........and I'm sure you have. So make the change........because Harley Davidson, of all companies, should be what it says it is.......anything else is just a lie.

5) How about a Servi-Car replica? This could be pretty damn cool, and since you folks are bringing trike production in house (wise move there Big Guy) there's no excuse not to. Imagine one done up in old HD livery.......like the models that used to deliver parts to dealerships....sweet! There's really no end to the possibilities, and with all us aging boomers, my guess is the trike offering is gonna have to "diversify" anyway, let's get on it. And that one-off hot rod trike you built for Willie G.......oh hell yeah, I'd own that bad boy..........and I NEVER thought I'd want a trike.

6) Team up with Sucker Punch Sally's to build a bare bones bobber on a Dyna chassis. Dream machine. This could be one of the coolest co-branding projects in the Motor Company's history. Imagine, HD build quality with the street cred of SPS!? Look, I know you guys could do it on your own, but just this once, get out of the corporate comfort zone, bag the consultants, drop the focus groups and go with the gut. And there's nobody out there with a better gut for what's cool right this second than the crew at Sucker Punch Sally's (no secret I think they're a great group of guys). Maybe it could be another "CVO-like" line...........limited addition, but not super expensive. This would go a long way in making up for that whole Rocker business.........I'm just saying.

7) Let's team up and do some great work. OK, this one's apparently a long shot, but I'd like nothing more than to be a contributing member of the HD crew. Trouble is, despite the efforts of a bunch of really great industry colleagues, as well as, some folks in Milwaukee, we haven't managed to clear the HR wall...........kinda sad. But we'll keep choppin'........it's the season of Festivus miracles after all!

It's up to you now Big Guy...............