Power Plant Choppers

The man behind Power Plant, Yaniv Evan

If you've been an inmate here at the Asylum for any length of time you know that I have a thing for Sucker Punch Sally's (http://www.suckerpunchsallys.com/), Christian and the gang, flat get it. Their bobbers and choppers exude old school style and class.........and best of all, they don't break the bank. Many complete models sell in the very low twenties, and considering the quality, that's a steal. Hell, you can even purchase a rolling chassis, motor and tranny and finish the beast yourself. They're aces in my book, and still are..............

But, hold the phone, I've just discovered another builder (OK, when I say "I discovered", I'm well aware that they've been around for a while, and you dear reader have known about them for years and years, but they're new to me, it's my blog.......fill in the blanks) out of So Cal that is really rockin' it big time with an owner that only knows how to do it his way; Power Plant Choppers (http://www.powerplantchoppers.com/). The bikes have a vintage look and feel........raw and in some cases almost unfinished. Almost like how you'd do it yourself, if you had the mad skills that is.

The man in charge is Yaniv Evan, and by all accounts this dude is one of a kind, but why take my word for it, there's an article in the current issue of Ol' Skool Rodz magazine (http://www.olskoolrodz.com/ another nifty gem from the folks at http://www.koolhousepublishing.com/) that profiles the man and his shop. Oh, and notice that Power Plant was featured not in a bike rag, but in a hot rod magazine, proving yet again that looking beyond the usual motorcycle publications can really pay off.........like your mom always said, broaden your horizons!

Cool truck, huh?

After you've checked out the article, please visit the Power Plant website, there's two actually. One is focused on the bikes and accessories, it has a super cool post apocalyptic industrial vibe, and not much detail on the machines (there is a note about prices starting in the $25k range, so not awful), you're gonna have to call for that. The "other" site is features a gallery and PP clothing and it's got to be one of the prettiest in the business.........no BS, tell me it doesn't remind you of a Lucky jean site.......high end, high fashion..........damn fine bikes, and almost too perfect models. For the record, the dud's Power Plant is hawking are very cool.........if there was only a way to actually order them from the site!! Maybe it's me, but ain't nothin' clickable, not cool. I emailed them about it, nothing back so far.

Just the way God intended

So check it out, let me know what you think...........looks like Power Plant's got some good stuff goin' on.

More Stuff We Like

Look, we all know that magazines are in a world of hurt these days, and for many of them, the grim reaper is nearer than a Charlie Sheen relapse. But that doesn't mean there aren't some pretty cool rags out there for us hardcore riders to cuddle up to. And be honest, there are just some times when only print to paper can satisfy..........you know what I'm talking about.

Luckily we've got a couple of suggestions for those "old school" moments. And by "couple", we do mean only two. Here goes;

Cycle Source, "a grass roots motorcycle publication" (http://www.cyclesource.com/), $4.99 at the newsstand. If you're into the hardcore chopper and custom scene, this is your mag. Tons of cool pics, and profiles of builders you just may not have heard of yet. Don't expect any OCC profiles or road tests of the latest Milwaukee iron........'cause you ain't gonna find any. Or hot chicks languishing over, under and barely on these rolling testaments to American creativity........sorry guys. OK, you might find a couple in some of the ads.

Unfortunately another thing you're not gonna find is good writing, or editing for that matter. You would think that they'd at least use spell check, come on guys (and yes, I know my stuff is very far from perfect). Think ninth grade yearbook.........almost. That said, there's a lot of passion for the industry and the people that make it great.......and that goes a long way in making you forget some of the rather painful prose. Oh, and Cycle Source does incorporate the latest in cool QR bar code technology, if you have a smart phone, it's really a blast. Pick a copy up this month.......we think you'll be back for more.

The Horse, Back Street Choppers, (http://www.thehorsebc.com/), $5.99 at the newsstand. Very similar in vibe and feel to Cycle Source, but maybe a little more sophisticated in terms of technical depth, more how to's and build articles. And yes Virginia, this rag has chicks, and they are hot.........and usually inked up. Nothing your mom would ground you for, so don't get all shy. Every cover features a lovely astride some wicked cool chopper or bobber.......makes for great garage art if you ask me.

Alas, the writing is not much better, and at times can be downright painful, power through it, and focus on the metal, because the featured machines are truly amazing........Again, you're not gonna find too many of the "big name" bike builders, but you just might find some of the most inspired. I guarantee you'll learn something in every issue........and most importantly, be entertained in the process.

Lastly, you have to love a publication that offers subscription discounts to our brave lads and ladies that put their butts on the line defending our freedom.........way to go. They also offer a discount (though not as much of course) to folks spending time, or I should say, doing time........and it just doesn't get more hardcore than that.

07 Screamin' Eagle Hot Rod Softail Springer

It started, as most addictions and annoying habits do, when I was a kid. But my demon wasn't drugs, or alcohol, or even girls (mostly because all the girls I knew for some reason steadfastly refused to become my enablers....go figure). My "crack" were hot rods.........deuce coupes, bucket t's, fuelies, lowriders, dragsters, funny cars........you name it, and I lusted for it. Seems like every waking hour I wasn't held hostage in some beige box with an asbestos lid posing as a "classroom", was spent pouring over the tattered pages of any hot rod magazine I could get my slimy mitts on........Car Craft, Custom Cars, and Hot Rod just to name a few. I was hooked.............for life.

Even my first car, while not a "real" hot rod, wasn't exactly a plain Jane grocery getter either, not for this Big Daddy wannabe, no sir. A medium green 1969 Ford Mustang Mach One was to be my high school chariot........60 series tires, American Racing wheels, Hooker headers, oh yeah. But still the hot rod lust burned deep.......I wanted the real deal, maybe a '32 High Boy, or a dropped and chopped '51 Merc. Alas, not to be......if for no other reason than college, career, family, and the unavoidable fact that I possess no discernible mechanical skills. If I was ever gonna have a hot rod, someone was going to have to build it for me.

Fast forward a whole bunch of years and thank God for Harley-Davidson. You see they have this little in-house custom thing going on, it's called CVO, or "Custom Vehicle Operations", and they hand build the Screamin' Eagle model bikes one at a time. No really, the whole CVO "department" consists of a couple of craftsmen and a rolling cart thingy.........those two guys actually build your bike, no assembly line here. I've seen it for myself at both the York PA plant and Kansas City. Very cool stuff. I had found the guys to build my hot rod.

Well, they didn't know they were building one for me, that just sorta happened, as they say, by accident. I few years back as I trolled the showroom at McGuire Harley-Davidson (http://www.mcguire-hd.com/) during an open house event, I spied what I still think to this day was the meanest, baddest, lowdown, kickass factory build rig I've ever come across......a '07 CVO Screamin' Eagle Softail Springer. It was sick, fat 200mm rear tire out back, and totally trick old school springer forks up front. It was 30 days in county and a suspended license with the motor cold. I had to have it.

Only two problems. One, I already had a Softail Custom on order, with a factory paint set no less. Two, they only make about 2,300 or so of each model (in mass production terms, that's really limited edition), even less when you consider the three color schemes to choose from. And the one on the floor? It was spoken for. Damn. Or maybe not. A hurried pow-wow with Mike and Steve, and problem one, and two were history. They'd simply take the Softail Custom when it came in and put it on the floor, no worries. And a quick check of the computer showed that another CVO Springer was due in December......and that bad boy was gonna be mine. A hot rod at last.

My '07 CVO Springer (FXSTSSE for you purists) was the first in a series that lasted for three model years, and is by far the best of the bunch, and not just because I have one.......in '08 HD killed the the 21 inch narrow front tire; in favor of a wider, smaller diameter setup to improve handling. Really!? It's an f'n Springer, it will never "handle", it has the performance characteristics of a Conestoga wagon. As it should be. The team knew what they were doing when they penned it with a 21.......shame on you Motor Company. But it gets worse, in '09 they mucked with the profile of the rear fender.....no more "flip", looked truly awful. It had all the charm of an OCC chopper.......

So what's so special about these CVO machines, other than limited edition bragging rights, and a fat price tag? Lots actually. Aside from being literally hand assembled, which when you think about it, is about as cool as it gets, you get the largest displacement motor that Harley offers.......110 cubic inches of fun and felonies. Let me tell you, there's some serious grunt in these lumps. In addition to the big motor, there's chrome upon chrome, upon chrome........over the top? Maybe. But to be honest, each models accessories "theme" is so well thought out, and integrated so seamlessly that they manage to pull it off. From the mirrors to the footpegs, wheels to handlebars, every bit and piece of a CVO bike is designed for, and assembled with, premium parts straight out of the Harley catalog........which is why it all just "works". That's not to say that yours truly wouldn't mind seeing an understated, maybe flat black, minimal chrome, "rat bike" inspired CVO roll out of York someday........dare to dream.

Speaking of paint, every CVO bike's paint set is a flippin' masterpiece, I'm not kidding. We all know that the Motor Company lays down the best stock paint work on the planet (did you know that folks that work in the paint room have to sign a document that restricts what kind of food they're able to consume, lest it be too greasy, in which case it could escape from their pores and contaminate the atmosphere of the paint room? How's that for attention to detail!), but the work put in on the CVO bikes is simply amazing. My particular rig is Abyss Blue and Blue Pearl........looks so good in the sun, it's almost better than black........almost.

If it's trick, it's going on a CVO machine.........braided lines, tachs, trick graphics, outrageous wheels, LED's, it's all there........and more. So it's perfect just the way it is right? Not quite sunshine, not quite. Remember back when we were talking about that uber cool Springer front end with the 21 inch wheel? Yeah, well the single disc, two piston brake is as weak as a Charlie Sheen alibi. Nope, this bad boy called for some work. Enter Performance Machine (http://www.performancemachine.com/), we switched out the two piston rig up front with a four piston unit, and for the sake of aesthetic consistency hung a four piston set out back as well. Stopping performance, while maybe not up to current MotoGP standards, just might keep me out of intensive care. What more can I ask?

Next we attacked the exhaust system........a little better tone, and a dash more horsepower and torque if you please. A quick call to Vance and Hines (http://www.vanceandhines.com/) and my good friend/guru Jim Leonard and a solution was on it's way in the form of a set of Big Shot Staggered pipes with the "quiet" baffles (even though they rob just a touch of horsepower, Jim was right, if you want to stay on speaking terms with the Smith's next door, get the quiet baffles.......please) and a Fuel Pak. While I'm gonna keep the dyno numbers between Jim and I, let's just say the improvement was more than noticeable......and the exhaust note......exactly as the gods of speed intended.

Rounding out my short list of mods (this is a CVO bike after all, ain't all that much "needed") were a new set of HD mirrors, just liked the shape better than the "stock" ones. an oil cooler, trick axle mounted license plate frame from Kuryakyn (http://www.kuryakyn.com/) and last, but far from least, a Le Pera custom seat (http://www.lepera.com/). I have to say, and I'd hope you'd agree, she came together nicely.

Every time I take this bike out I get smiles and thumbs up from cage drivers and riders alike. Just looking at it parked never fails to put a loopy grin on my mug. I love this bike. It may have taken a few years and a lot of miles, but I finally have my hot rod...........  

Kickin' It Old School

As is often the case here at the Asylum, we're gonna toss a couple of pearls in the general direction of the good folks in Milwaukee (wonder if anyone from the Motor Company actually reads these scribblings?) in the hopes of cultivating a true "open source" dialog. What the hell is "open sourcing" you ask!? Not to worry fellow Chromies, "Open Source" is just a hip tech term for taking (hopefully not stealing, that would be wrong) ideas, thoughts, concerns, and experiences from a bunch of different people (sources) and applying the best solutions to a problem.....it means listening; to your customers, your partners, just about anyone that's in your "circle of trust". And it's a pretty damn good idea...........and one I thought Harley was doing all along. Silly me.

And they really were, listening that is, even as M.H.R., HD's "marketing deity", felt compelled to step up and declare that he was bravely leading the charge into this brave new "open sourced" world. Guess we all have to impress the boss, huh M.H.R.? Now refresh my memory M.H.R., you didn't have anything to do with the Aztek debacle right? Your claim to fame was the Oprah car giveaway.......too bad about that whole "tax thing", ungrateful louts!! You got plenty of press though. Say, how's Pontiac doing these days?? Forgive me....... inside industry humor.

So how we gonna kick it old school?? By kicking it of course...........as in kick starter. How cool would that be?! Come on, you know it's true, there's something almost medieval about kicking over a hulking V-Twin using only bone, muscle and tendon. The mysterious, almost zen-like technique, handed down through the ages to only the worthy few. The inherent dangers.........we've all heard the tales of broken ankles, and worse, for the unwary; "......knew a guy once that launched himself clean over the bars!" The fact is, with every kick, we demand the beast submit to our will...........an emotion, sadly, the lowly electric starter, now matter how efficient can never evoke. Think about it, a Prius and a Corvette both get you to the same place, but really, a Prius............you see what I mean.

Not that all Harley models would, or should be so equipped with mystical lever of fire, because let's face it, kick starters are for the true believers among us........most folks will probably shy away. Although I'll bet a lot more women would opt for the kicker than one might think.......it's a domination thing, trust me on that. No, I'm thinking kick starters would be an option on maybe one or two models in the Sportster and Dyna lines (with an electric starter as back up, or when we're just feeling lazy). Special edition, "old school" renditions........stripped down, very little chrome, solo seats, mini-apes, laced wheels, "denim" paint, peanut tank for the Dyna............A bike so retro that it features a quick release front fender (major open source alert!, M.H.R., this one's for you). The fender's on when the bike's sold, but with a deft turn of a couple of quick release bolts and viola! instant badass bar hopping chopper. Weather turns nasty? Presto, chango, fender's back on and you're down the road! How sick is that!?!?

And the things gotta look the part, so the graphic package has to be unique (open source alert!), so let's work on a licensing deal with Coop, http://www.coopstuff.com/ , if you haven't seen this man's art, what the hell are you waiting for!? Just imagine a frosty devil's head on the tank with some equally sick pin striping.......very nifty indeed. He's got the "hot rod" vibe that perfectly suits a machine so old school in design that it's sporting a kick starter. It works my friends.

So what about it Harley-Davidson? Can we sack up and walk the walk when it comes to "old school"? I say put it in the moat and see if it floats........give us the choice. I'll bet a sixer there'll be enough takers to keep the bean counters happy........now about those twin cam "pan" and "shovel" motors.

"Paint Shaker"....... One Cool Harley Road King!

At first glance it might not seem that trick, just another vivid black 2006 Harley Road King Classic, one of thousands, but that's where you'd be wrong my friend, because just as a quick glance in a smoke filled bar at 2am might be, shall we say "misleading" (not to mention possibly fraught with grievous consequences), Paint Shaker's true beauty only becomes obvious to those make the effort. As it should be, don't you think.

My '06 Road King (2006 FLHRCI for you purist out there, if you don't speak Harley hieroglyphics don't worry, most folks don't and I won't use them again) is my first Harley, a first among a long litany of lesser machines of my past. I say this only to anger the haters, you know, the ones that convulse in spasms of agony every time some cretin has the temerity to suggest that a Harley is actually a decent motorcycle......heaven forbid! For the record my prior motorcycle ownership included a number of Japanese sportbikes and a fair share of off-road machines as well. So I have had my share of experience on "real" motorcycles........better now haters!?

As with any "first", there was a lot to learn; this thing weighs a ton, it's easier to ride than it appears, it's not very fast, it doesn't stop very fast either, it sounds great, it's super comfortable, that headlight looks like it's four feet out in front of me.........and everywhere I go, people love it. From old couples obviously reminiscing about rides long since past, to young toughs giving me a nod and a thumbs up, folks do love HD.........ah, the bike, not me. So now that I have this thing...........I can't just leave it alone, some serious "personalization" is in order. You notice I say "personalization" and not "customization", big difference, and since I'm not building frames, bending and welding hot metal, nor applying layer after layer of eye candy lacquers.........I just don't feel comfortable even suggesting that I'm doing anything remotely comparable to the likes of Ness, Simms, or the lads at Sucker Punch Sally's......nope, that's a whole different deal.

That's not to say I didn't have a design theme in mind to guide me along the way (no mixing of eagles and skulls here buddy!), a concept to refer to, a mental two-by-four that could be applied to my brain if I began straying down some wayward design detour that would ultimately lead to gasps of ridicule rather than slack-jawed admiration. And that inspiration, my muse if you will is a badass '50 Merc coupe; black on black, fat white wall tires, slammed to the ground........you can see it huh? Way cool, I know.

Before we get into all the goodies that make up Paint Shakers DNA, let's take a quick look at what didn't change. The frame and wheels are stock, as is the five-speed transmission. Both front and rear fenders are as they were straight out of York PA, save the trim, same goes for the gas tank.........now let's get to the good stuff.

One of the first things to go were the brakes, not that they weren't good (and the new generation anti-locks from Brembo are truly awesome), but I just wanted better, along with a more custom look. The solution? A set of 13 inch El Dorado drilled, fully floating discs matched up to six piston Differential Bore calipers from the good folks at Performance Machine (http://www.performancemachine.com/) were fitted up front along with braided steel brake lines and a pair of Progressive front fork springs (http://www.progressivesuspension.com/) to lessen the dive these new brakes might induce. Out back we installed a stock diameter El Dorado disc mated up to a four piston PM caliper. I did try to be super trick and install a six piston on the rear (overkill, I know, you can't even see it!), but it just wouldn't work right, my guess is the master cylinder would have to be changed.........but that's just a guess.

The result? Not only are the brakes a visual work of art, but two fingered stops are now a reality; worth it, worth it, worth it. Since we're focusing up front as it were, the fork tubes were dipped in a bath of chrome while the bars were replaced with Fat Bars from Harley Davidson (http://www.harley-davidson.com/) and all the switch gear, reservoirs, and housings were swapped for chromed versions. Stock mirrors came off in favor of some trick billet oval numbers from the Motor Company. Lastly, the tank was fitted with a "flush mount" gas cap and guage, while the stock speedo was ditched for a sano combination tach and speedometer unit. Very nice...........and you really need to know when you're about to achieve that rod bending 5200 RPM redline........really.

While we're on the subject of speed, let's be honest a bone-stock Harley is not gonna be mistaken for anything remotely fast........I was nervous if I had a throttle happy soccer mom next to me in a Suburu, oh the shame if she nailed the holeshot. Not to worry gentle readers...........help was on the way, in the form of a Screamin' Eagle 95ci big bore kit, complete with SE-203 cams, and an upgraded oil pump. Speaking of oil (no, not leaks.......you damn haters!), it's my firm belief that an air cooled motor deserves and oil cooler......it just makes sense, I mean there ain't no other coolant in the beast fercrissake! So naturally we installed one, along with a very trick (yeah, it's stupid expensive) Roland Sands Design (http://www.rolandsandsdesign.com/) Venturi air cleaner.......it is truly beautiful, and unlike a bunch of aftermarket air cleaners, it doesn't get in the way of your leg. The only drawback is the lame rainsock......you have to take the unit apart to install it.........really, Roland, really!?

Any good wrench knows a motor's gotta breathe, and Paint Shaker is no exception. So I turned to my good friend Jim Leonard at Vance and Hines (http://www.vanceandhines.com/) for advice. Jim's been with V&H for years now, used to run their race efforts back when they were a factory Ducati and Yamaha superbike team. Since then Jim's been applying his massive brain to making Harley's quicker, what he doesn't know about performance exhaust ain't worth crowding your frontal lobe. After some back and forth we decided that a set of V&H True Duals mated up to a pair of Monster Oval mufflers would do the trick. Of course we would also be installing a Fuel Pak from V&H just to make sure we're wringing every last ounce of "umph" from the lump. With the good folks at McGuire Harley Davidson (http://www.mcguire-hd.com/) handling the tough stuff.........you didn't think I was gonna install the big bore kit do you, our "go fast" mods went in without a hitch.

And once again, we went yard. The improvement in both torque and horsepower is obvious, and right where it should be, your ass.......you don't need any stinking dyno charts to know that you've made a giant improvement in performance. My only gripe is that I didn't do it sooner. The V&H Fuel Pak does such an awesome job that there is zero, and I mean zero, "pop" on deceleration! Pretty amazing stuff. I have to say the Monster Ovals have a very unique sound, it's cool, but it ain't a Thunder Header, so you might listen to one before you buy......I'm just saying.

Along with the motor mods we added a trick billet derby and ignition covers from NYC Choppers (http://www.nycchoppers.com/), Maltese cross of course. All foot controls, shift linkage, oil hoses and bolt covers were replaced with chrome versions from HD. We also replaced the stock dipstick with a cool digital one that reads off the level and temperature..........oh yeah!

Remember our '50 Merc? In keeping with the clean lines and aggressive stance of our four wheeled inspiration, all Road King badging on the front and rear fenders was replaced with '50's era Electra Glide logos and trim. The stock seat was shown the door as well, replaced with a slick "Badlander" perch from HD. It looks great, but I think its days are numbered........I see a Le Pera (http://www.lepera.com/) custom leather seat in my future. The leather covered saddlebags were ditched in favor of a set of hardsided bags from HD for a much cleaner look. All reflectors and crashbars were removed because.........well, do I really have to tell you why?

Cool is cool, but you have to see and be seen.......which is why the lighting package was changed out up front with upgraded "pure white" H bulbs (fashion alert: change them all to the same color white.....mixing and matching looks crappy, trust me), and chrome "eyebrows". Out back we installed a Kuryakyn (http://www.kuryakyn.com/) Panacea "blue dot" taillight and signals. These units are so trick and easy to install, not to mention way more visible than the stock lights, that I don't know why more folks aren't bolting them up.........you should, now.

So we're done right, it's built, we're good to go? Not quite yet grasshopper, there's one last critical touch, one last detail that will define Paint Shaker's very essence........the license plate. You heard me, the license plate. A bike this cool can't sport an ordinary "civilians" badge, no sir, we need authentic, and authentic we shall have courtesy of one Rod Pearman, the Tag Doctor (http://www.tagdr.com/). Rod specializes in restoring old plates for hot rods and show cars and his work is stunning. We went for a black and yellow plate (yeah, I know to be "50's" it should be a yellow background, but I didn't want to push my luck with the CHP quite that far) and I must say it really makes the bike.

So there you have it, a profile of Paint Shaker. And just in care you're wondering, the name Paint Shaker came from the fact that the motor, when it's idling, looks just like one of those paint shakers you find at the hardware store........kinda sounds like one too. And that's why I dig it, if I have to explain that..........well, you know the rest of that cliche'. And stay tuned for a profile of my CVO Springer Softail, that baby is trick!

Dear Keith, All I Want From Milwaukee Is.............

This being the holiday season and all, I figured why not take the opportunity to write a little missive to the Big Guy and let him know just what to leave under (or not) the old Festivus pole. So Keith (sorry Santa, you're so "pre-iPad") without further delay, here's my list. Did I mention that I've been especially good this year?

1) An XR1200X. This bike flippin' rocks!! I had the opportunity to take one out for an afternoon (thanks McGuire Harley Davidson crew) and have never had as much fun on a Harley. It looks great, has reasonable power and actually handles...........yeah, real brakes!! It's not mainstream HD, which makes me more than a little worried that it may not be with us long, which would be a real shame, because this machine is a credit to the engineering elves in Milwaukee. For the record, I'd like the 2010 orange bodywork please.

2) Kill the Rocker. OK, you've actually almost already granted this wish, as there's only one model left in the lineup. Big Guy, what the heck we're you smokin'!? About three years after the OCC wannabe, "bling machine" chopper fad had thankfully peaked, HD hops on the bandwagon with arguably the most hideous creation ever to emerge from the workshop. I'd like to know who was in that focus group; I'm thinking a combo of West Hollywood stylists and second rate CEO's, but that's just a guess. You were late to the party, and you brought an ugly date........time to sneak out the back door.

3) Build a $9,500 Dyna. Don't get me wrong, I'm thrilled at the strides you and the elves have made reaching out and capturing younger riders (UFC sponsorship......nifty strategy my friend), but let's not spike the ball just yet. First off, it's not as if your competition has been introducing a lot of new product in the last few years (you noticed right!?), folks tend not get all twitterpaited about dusty three year old bikes tucked away in a corner. And financing? Even tougher to get than yours. Here's the deal, Harley connects with younger lads and lasses, always has......that ain't the issue. Affordability is......so why did you bump the price of the cheapest Dyna by a grand this year!? Naughty list. Let's not have the baby Sporty be the only ticket for the cash strapped among us. Give us a real HD, with a real motor for under ten grand. You can do it........you're the Big Guy!!

4) Try, just try, to build at least the majority of product sold with a Harley Davidson tag on it in the United States. Look, I know that those Wall Street creeps that actually run the North Pole won't let one single penny of additional profit fall from their icy grip without a fight, but it just frosts my pumpkin when I see "Made in China" right under the words "An American Legend" on the label in my jacket, or on that shiny new set of levers I just bought for the mighty "Paint Shaker" (my waaaay cool 2006 FLHRCI). The Motor Company lives and dies by its iconic American roots......the image was born here, built here, it wasn't created by Madison Avenue or a bunch of indifferent foreign laborers toiling under a dictatorship. Authenticity is a finite commodity, every time you sell "Genuine Harley Davidson", made in China, a little more of that authenticity just fades away..........until one day, a once great company is reduced to a lowly marketing firm, trading on what it used to be. Think it doesn't bug your customers? Ask 'em..........and I'm sure you have. So make the change........because Harley Davidson, of all companies, should be what it says it is.......anything else is just a lie.

5) How about a Servi-Car replica? This could be pretty damn cool, and since you folks are bringing trike production in house (wise move there Big Guy) there's no excuse not to. Imagine one done up in old HD livery.......like the models that used to deliver parts to dealerships....sweet! There's really no end to the possibilities, and with all us aging boomers, my guess is the trike offering is gonna have to "diversify" anyway, let's get on it. And that one-off hot rod trike you built for Willie G.......oh hell yeah, I'd own that bad boy..........and I NEVER thought I'd want a trike.

6) Team up with Sucker Punch Sally's to build a bare bones bobber on a Dyna chassis. Dream machine. This could be one of the coolest co-branding projects in the Motor Company's history. Imagine, HD build quality with the street cred of SPS!? Look, I know you guys could do it on your own, but just this once, get out of the corporate comfort zone, bag the consultants, drop the focus groups and go with the gut. And there's nobody out there with a better gut for what's cool right this second than the crew at Sucker Punch Sally's (no secret I think they're a great group of guys). Maybe it could be another "CVO-like" line...........limited addition, but not super expensive. This would go a long way in making up for that whole Rocker business.........I'm just saying.

7) Let's team up and do some great work. OK, this one's apparently a long shot, but I'd like nothing more than to be a contributing member of the HD crew. Trouble is, despite the efforts of a bunch of really great industry colleagues, as well as, some folks in Milwaukee, we haven't managed to clear the HR wall...........kinda sad. But we'll keep choppin'........it's the season of Festivus miracles after all!

It's up to you now Big Guy...............

Give Us A Shout.......It's Nice To Know You're Out There

Since it appears that mom isn't the only one in the "blogosphere" tuning into Chrome Asylum to get a double dose of my twisted views on motorbikes and more, I thought it might be handy to provide y'all with a way to get directly in touch with me.......just in case you'd like to keep that obscenity laced tirade between us girls, and leave the comment section free for more benign musings. It's all up to you. But if you do have some thoughts; no matter where they're coming from, I'd like to hear them. This is our forum, I'm just it's official scribe.

So, if you wanna drop me an email send it to hdesjardins3(at)yahoo(dot)com. That last bit of slight of hand is a bit of trickery to avoid getting a butt-load of spam dumped on yours truly, we'll see how that goes. Think you might want to link to Chrome Asylum? Let me know, and I'll make it happen. I also post info about upcoming articles on Twitter, just type in http://twitter.com/HankDesjardins and you're in. Become a follower, no Kool Aide sipping required.

One last thought, I know the site is pretty vanilla right now, and it's killing me. Any of you that know my work in product development, branding and advertising will know, boring is not my style. Bear with us, we'll pimp things out a bit (where's my design team when I need 'em!?).....it just may take a bit.

Thanks again for reading.........stay tuned for a profile of the "Paint Shaker", you'll be glad you did. I guarantee!!

The Truth About Motorcycle Accident Lawyers

Seems you can't thumb through a motorcycle rag these days without being subjected to the carefully stylized image of a leather clad attorney touting his or her nearly superhuman skills when it comes to defending "your rights". The more succinct of the ads get right to the bottom-line, "We freedom loving riders at Dewey, Cheatem, and Howe (not a real firm, or is it!?) will get you more money for your accident now!" Can't get more direct than the promise of free dough! And in the end, isn't that what we want? Isn't it? Even if we need the slithery skills of a sewer dwelling lawyer, someone has to pay.......it's our right dammit!

Let's face it, all real Americans hate lawyers (their own attorney excluded of course), there are few professions viewed with such disdain........with the exception of perhaps investment bankers, and rightfully so. But why you ask? Simple, because almost without fail they ultimately destroy that which they proclaim to save. It's inevitable, like a democrat's opposition to tort reform, funny how that works.

If I get hit and crash, or even if I go down through no fault of anyone else, shouldn't I be entitled to recover some money? Maybe so, after all, we're "entitled" to just about everything else, so why not? But have you ever thought about where that huge settlement comes from? Wrong. This is one instance where the government isn't writing the check. Let's think it through Sparky.

The money comes from a number of sources, namely the motorcycle industry itself. But isn't that OK, I mean they have deep pockets right? Wrong again. The vast majority of both retailers and manufacturers in motorcycling are small businesses with hardly any pockets to speak of, let alone deep ones. In a typical claim, the lawyers go after (sue) every business, product, and person that ever had a transactional relationship with the victim (and in many cases even those that never had any dealings with the plaintiff at all).

No matter the nature of the accident, or even who's at fault, everyone gets sued, and I mean everyone. Aside from the all too obvious ethical issues this "strategy" conjures up; from a very practical perspective, what difference does it make if I sold you the pair of boots you were wearing on the day, after downing copious quantities of liquid courage, you attempted your very best Jason Britton imitation and slammed head first (uh-oh, forgot to wear a helmet....) into your neighbors parked minivan? The obvious answer, to anyone other than an attorney, is absolutely none. But I'll be named in the suit anyway, because that's the way its done.

What's even worse is, I'll probably pay, or at least my insurance company will, if for no other reason than to make the whole damn nuisance go away. And when you start adding up all those individuals and companys paying to make it "go away", that whole "sue 'em all, let a judge sort 'em out" strategy really begins to make a lot of sense....for the lawyers anyway.

The fact is, lawyers and the legal system they've created (remember, there's a good chance your favorite legislator is a damn lawyer too) drive good businesses under, and make every aspect of motorcycling more expensive. Think riding gear costs too much? Can't find a good local dealer that stocks actually stocks product? Wish there were cheaper motorcycles to buy? Wonder why your favorite riding area just closed down? Why is your insurance so expensive? Airbags on a motorcycle!? Thank your friendly neighborhood lawyer.

But you're a good American, you're not one of "them", what can you do end this cycle of economic and ethical madness? It's easy, first off , don't support the "motorcycle accident attorneys". If you're in the motorcycle industry, don't let them buy ads in your publications or sponsor your events. Whatever you do, don't let them attend your events (in my past life as the marketing head of the largest accessories retailer in motorcycling, we never took a dime from any law firm, although under the new regime I would wager that policy is sadly in danger), or support them in any fashion.  I know times are tough, but stand firm, sell ads to drug dealers, at least they're up front about their product.

As a rider, take some responsibility for your actions, every accident isn't a lottery ticket waiting to be cashed in. If you screw up, accept the consequences, and move on. Or better yet, pass up the opportunity to collect when you know you have no legitimate claim to do so, no matter what that ambulance chaser is telling you. In short, do the right thing, not the personally profitable one.

Lastly, push for common sense tort reform. The only way we can end this idiocy for good is too stop giving these bums and their clients license to game the system for their own profit. As long as folks can get something for nothing (no recourse contingency fees have to go), accident attorney's will be around to facilitate the process. The sad fact is, if we do nothing, greed enabling lawyers will eventually kill motorcycling for all of us.

Tips For Two-Up Touring

I have to confess right from the outset that most of my road riding motorcycle adventures have been of the "solo" variety; at least solo from the standpoint of me being alone in the saddle. Don't know exactly why; just always felt right. The reality is, I probably just didn't want to be responsible for another person. And trust me, when it comes to "responsibility", riding a motorcycle is on a whole different level. Everyone and their second cousin has a damn "coma story" involving a motorcycling mishap..... no way I was going to be part of that drama. Not me. I knew the risks......and was willing to take them, but to ask another to do the same?? Don't think so. Or maybe I just didn't want to buy lunch.....whatever.

The fact is, it's truly liberating never having to worry if the person "in the back" noticed that clunky shift, or how you damn near stuffed the back of that Tahoe while staring at some "Real Housewives" wannabe exiting the Safeway parking lot, or if your penchant for consuming cheeseburgers at nearly every "gas stop" was bordering on the excessive. No one's damn business! My bike never ratted me out. Adding a third to the party was just awkward, in a "this is a threesome that's never making the Forum letters column", kind of way. Just wasn't natural. This isn't to say I don't like riding with other people, I do. Sort of. Maybe I have trust issues??? No matter, we have motorcycling wisdom to inflict.........

Are you experienced? That's not just a cool Jimi Hendrix line, it's a real "no BS" assessment you need to make about both yourself and your passenger. Here's the deal, your motorcycle is gonna respond and handle in potentially unnerving ways when you've got your baby on board. At the very least, braking distances will be longer, acceleration will be slower, and low speed maneuvers that much more tricky.......all because of the extra weight (a point best not mentioned to your significant other, no matter how well intentioned). If you're not ready for a some two-up fun, say so.

While we're at it, ask your potential adventure buddy if they've actually been on a motorcycle before. Sounds like an obvious thing to do, but trust me, most bikers don't bother to enquire. If the closest thing to motorcycle riding little Betty has experienced is season two of Sons of Anarchy, you probably don't want to discover this little tidbit as you tear into a decreasing radius corner on Highway 88. Can't you just see it? You leaning in as God intended, while your terror stricken passenger using all her eighth grade gymnastic skills, throws her body in the exact opposite direction you're leaning in a heroic effort to save you both from whatever idiocy possessed you in the first place..........oh yeah, now that's fun.

While you're telling her that it's OK for bikes to lean over, let her know that she's gonna be moving backward and forward on her perch as well, maybe even clunking noodles now and then. And this too is OK. When the machine brakes, she scoots forward, when you take off from a light, she'll be sliding rearward. How much is going to be determined by your right hand and her weight (as we know, that last factoid is better left unsaid). As for you, when in doubt, remember you can't go wrong with a "smooth application of the controls".

Don't forget to clue your potential ridemate into the fact that motorcycles get hot. Really hot. Show her the areas they should avoid touching at all times. You want the ride to be memorable, but not for the third degree burns she'll be sporting on her calf for the next fifty years. And let her know the best way to "enter" and "exit" the vehicle while avoiding the aforementioned hot zones, and only when you say you're ready....parking lot tip-overs can spoil a ride every bit as much a scorched limb.

Lastly, and this one's pretty important, make sure that your passengers safety stuff is at least every bit as good as yours. Just because she's not holding the bars doesn't mean she's not gonna slam the ground just as hard as you........crashing is an equal opportunity crap storm. Make sure she's got the right gear, no paper mache' helmets and flip-flops......this is where you really get to show you care, and avoid a nasty liability lawsuit in the process. Nothing says "I love you" like a Snell rating.

So get out there, share the ride, show those close to you what it is that we love to do.........and with any luck, after a few rides, they'll buy their own bike. Is that bad? Maybe it's a sharing thing..........

Driven to Distraction.....How The Cult Of "Busy" Is Killing Us

Sadly the carnage caused everyday on our roads by distracted drivers is starting to lose its shock value, if for no other reason than it's just all too common........seems we can't go even a day without something in the news about a hapless mother of three being obliterated at a four way stop by some idiot checking his email, or a motorcyclist being literally punted off the highway while another clueless driver fumbles with their nav system.

As motorcyclists, we're particularly at risk from distracted drivers............for all the obvious reasons. After over 30 years on the road I can tell you that in the best of circumstances motorcycles are all but invisible to the average cage pilot........and that's when they're actually looking for us! With all the stimulus at their fingertips we're lucky if today's driver can manage to divert a sliver of his precious brainpower to actually driving the vehicle. They've simply got other things to do........they're busy.

In the good old, bad old days, when you eyeballed some yahoo weaving back and forth in his lane, you naturally assumed he was drunk, or high, or both. You kept a wary eye on him, and rode on. Not any more.........what with nav systems, i-pods, smart phones, video entertainment systems, 1,000 watt stereos, and the occasional partied out waste-case, your odds at winning the bone-crusher biker lotto have gone up exponentially.

Honestly, when's the last time you rode up to a light, looked over at the car next to you and the driver wasn't texting, emailing, checking the nav, fumbling with an i-pod or just chatting on the phone. You can't remember, can you? And do you know why that is? The cult of busy, that's why.

It all started in the late 90's when for some reason being "busy" (I'll leave it to cultural anthropologists to give a proper definition) became a sort of status symbol. The busier you were, the hipper, smarter and generally cooler you were. People went out of their way to tell each other just how busy they were, that alone could keep one fairly busy. Not busy? Loser. Hell, Starbucks flourished, not because of the mediocre, overpriced coffee, but because it has become a sort "Our Lady of the Perpetually Busy", where a generation of self-absorbed Crackberry addicts could gather to confess their allegiance to all things busy.

And the worst thing??? The cult of busy has become so pervasive, that it actually does feel somehow "wrong" just to sit at a light and not check your email.........or at least Tweet your nights movie plans. I mean drivings so easy, right? There's all that down time; at lights, on the freeway, at night when there's nothing to look at.....and we're all so very busy, it just makes sense to be "productive"

Alas, we bikers are not only victims, we're becoming perpetrators as well. Touring motorcycles with nav systems, bluetooth equipped helmets, and more are just a click or glance away......soon we will be mowing down luckless pedestrians with the same gleeful abandon as our cage driving brothers. Now there's progress for you.

Unfortunately that busy train has sailed.........we've all drank the Kool-Aide, we're all busy now. The simple act of driving a car, or riding a motorcycle (let alone doing it well) will never hold the allure it once did, it's old news, so yesterday. So be wary fellow riders, the busy are all around us......they might even be us.......let's just try not to be too busy to stay alive.

Sarah's My Homegirl

I love "Sarah Palin's Alaska".............there I said it, get over it, move on. I read that its debut was seen by over five million viewers (some even had college educations analysts say, though none thankfully were ivy league), a record for cable, and it's expected to be a major boost to Alaskan tourism. Whatever. Stunning mountain ranges, pristine waterfalls, float planes, and wildlife......this show's got it all. Or so I've been told.............I haven't noticed. You see, Sarah's my homegirl.

 It started at the RNC in 2008 and it's been growing faster than the Obama fueled national debt........my love affair with Mrs. P. Watching that speech I couldn't help but be reminded of that other uber sex symbol of  all things "right"..........Ronald Reagan. The wit, the warmth, the humor, the hair..........it was all right there. OK, maybe she wasn't quite as sexy as the Gipper; but her ability to propel the loonie left, especially their lapdogs in the shamestream media, into fits of apoplectic, spittle producing tantrums, sealed the deal for me. Or maybe it was the photo of my lovely Sarah cradling an AR-15 like she'd been there before..........ah, no matter. My heart was hers.

Oh, I know. She's stupid. After all, haven't the "best and the brightest" from Harvard to Wall Street, to PBS, been beating on that bongo from day one? The same "best and brightest" we might want to remember, responsible for the mortgage meltdown, the financial meltdown, the auto industry takeover, titanically idiotic levels of debit, and my favorite "health care" (whatever the hell that means). Let's ponder for a moment the "she's stupid" argument.........one, I'm ashamed to admit is not limited to the nitwits on the left, a few of my pals on the right that should know better have slammed my girl too. Proving yet again that elitism and sycophantic snobbery is an equal opportunity parlor game.

Stupid. OK. Let's see. Born into an average family, father's a teacher of all things. No wealth or privilege........sorry Kennedy's, no trust fund to be found anywhere. She's an average student, and an above average athlete......basketball I'm told, no cheer leading cliche's here. Damn.

Sarah goes of to college, alright, a couple of colleges if you must know. Unfortunately none of these institutions were of the ivy variety......horrors! You know the rest, marriage, kids, mayor of a small Alaskan town, Governor of the state (I know, Alaska's not a "real" state, so being Governor hardly counts). I could be wrong here, but does this seem the  life trajectory of a moron? As a matter of fact, I would submit that had this resume been that of anyone BUT Sarah Palin it would have been hailed as the American success story of the century.

Doesn't Sarah's success as a mom, small business person, and politician stand as confirmation of the ideals of the woman's movement in particular, and civil rights in general? So why the hate? I'll tell you why (aside from her unforgivable sin of not claiming Pro Choice status), the simple fact is the left has no equivalent narrative.

They have no self-made woman, no true American success stories of their own.........think about it for a minute. Nancy Pelosi, married a powerful man. Dianne Feinstein, married a powerful man. Barbara Boxer, married a powerful man. Hillary Clinton...........well, you get the idea. Seems like behind every darling Dem is.........egad, a man! More to the point, a man with a bankroll. Not exactly a vision of female empowerment.

Is Sarah Palin smart? Was Ronald Reagan smart? What is smart? Unfortunately, that's a question best left to.............ah, smart people I suppose. But what I can say is that Sarah Palin is real, she's authentic and the American people get that. She has a vision that the average person can relate to, and she can articulate that vision with a clarity not seen since..........well, since Reagan. The more the left tries to demonize and trivialize her, the more powerful she becomes. Sarah Palin is "stupid" because liberals are scared spitless, and they have no counter for her force of character.

Sarah's my homegirl not because she'd be the hottest leader in the free world, or that she loves guns and the outdoors (can you see her on a Harley.......oh mama!), or that she could kick the living crap out of any of her left leaning, concave chested, girlie-men detractors. No, Sarah's my homegirl because she's regular folks............and it's regular folks that made this country great. And that ain't stupid........

Loud Pipes Complicate Lives......and piss off the neighbors

If you happen to reside in the Peoples Republic of Kalifornia you're no doubt already painfully aware that on September 28 our lame duck governor (finally, truth in labeling), A. Schwarzenegger signed into law Senate Bill 435 which when it goes in effect January 1, 2013 will make it a crime, that's right my fellow scofflaws, a flippin' crime, ".....to operate any motorcycle registered in the state that was built on or after Jan. 1, 2013 that doesn't have a Federal Environmental Protection Agency exhaust system sound emissions label." (American Motorcyclist, Dec. 2010).

Great, we've got houses that aren't worth as much as the cars parked in the driveway, unemployment levels higher than the backers of Prop 19, and a state government as effective as a paper condom, but the golden state's gonna make sure your i-pod induced buzz won't be disturbed by some obnoxious biker. Really..........

Yet, as forward leaning libertarian, the idea of another mindless Big Brother edict really frosts my Lily's, but we saw this one coming right..........right!? You do remember that little tussle our off-roading brothers went through in the late 80's and early 90's, those Sierra Club Nazi's were gunning (yeah, I said gunning) for anyone treading the backwoods on anything but a Vibram soled boot. And so was hatched, "less sound equals more ground", or some such slogan. And for the most part, they were right.........but here's the deal, off-road ain't the street, and on the street, sound can be the difference between life and death. Could be the reason just about every vehicle on the road comes with a handy device called a horn. Think about it. But I wander.

The fact is, there is something to that old "loud pipes save lives" cliche', as is the case with most cliche's and everything your mother ever told you. Anyone that has ever split lanes can tell you that a quick blip of the throttle can jolt that cage jockey off her phone and back into her lane quicker than you can say "Real Housewives". No doubt about it. Being heard is often a key factor in being seen, a first step in a process if you will. A process that might just keep your hind-parts out of the local OR, and that's always a good thing.

Need more proof? Wouldn't you agree that there's probably no more experienced and skilled warriors on the road than motor cops? Then how is it that a majority of local Five-O's retrofit their Harley's with aftermarket (read illegal) mufflers? Ask the officer that rides one, and they'll enlighten you, "....so drivers can hear me, duh!?" The fact is, lame "Doppler effect" arguments aside, louder pipes are indeed heard by drivers, at least those not blasting their ear buds at 110db's, while a silent exhaust note, on the other hand, can be deadly.

But what about those idiots that blast through Sleepy Hollow at three in the morning rapping their straight pipes like, well, idiots. Good point, and I make no excuses, it's stupid, and one of the chief reasons we're now staring down the barrel of Senate Bill 435. We weren't able to keep it together, like reasonably sober adults should. Now dad (Arnie and his mindless minions in Sacramento) has to tell us kids (riders, I mean suspects) to keep the damn racket down or we're all grounded. Should have never cranked BTO to the max on the old Pioneer..............and definitely should have been a little more judicious with the right hand. And for the record, straight pipes just don't sound good, at any volume. Sorry bro's......

But that train has sailed, and we're most likely stuck with another idiotic law that's gonna make just about everyone in the cruiser community a criminal, which come to think of it isn't such a bad thing for all those lamewad wannabe patch guys........you know who you are, with your Sons of Anarchy t-shirts....at least now you'll have some street cred, sort of.

The obvious solution, at least to your humble scribe, is that motorcycle sound standards should be re-evaluated with an eye to a greater level of allowable db's. The current EPA standards are simply far too silent, and I don't know what the standard ought to be, that'll take some work on both sides. But the fact is we need to be heard so we can stay alive (sorry AMA but it's true). On the flip side, John Q commuter shouldn't suffer brain damage if he's stuck sitting next to one of us at a light. All I ask is little more sound, so we can maintain our ground....and not piss off the neighbors. Should be easy, right!?

Sucker Punch Sally's Rocks It For Real

As we all know, there hasn't been a whole lot to cheer about in the motorbike biz over the last few years. Really good company's have disappeared taking countless jobs and dreams with them, and those that have managed to hang on have had to cut to the marrow just to stay solvent.......but we're all survivors, and there's no doubt that better days lie ahead.

One company that's managed to not only hang on,  but thrive is Sucker Punch Sallys. I gotta tell you, I really dig this company. They are the real deal. I had a chance to meet the crew in Sturgis a few years back, and they are all genuinely good people. They just flat love bikes and it shows.

But what really sets them apart are their motorcycles............the coolest, stripped down, old school, tough as nails bobbers and choppers you've ever seen. It's rock-a-billy on wheels, a bar fight waiting to happen........if you're looking for an OCC wannabe, look elsewhere, these are machines made to be ridden.........fast and hard. The vibe is one of a kind in a world of shameless clones. And the best part? These rolling testaments to greased back hair and switchblades are totally affordable......how's that for blue collar cred!?

Some night when you're channeling your inner bad-ass, key over to www.suckerpunchsallys.com and marvel at the utter cool dripping off your screen.....rolling chassis, or complete machines, it's all there. But trust me on this, you best be strong because.......you're gonna want one, or two. I know my biker bucket list won't be complete until there's a Sucker Punch Sally bobber in the garage.........way to go guys!