Ducati Diavel.........Satan's Scoot

The Ducati Diavel.....best in black, no?

Fair warning fellow Chromies; when piloting the Ducati Diavel, failure to flip the "grown-up switch" to the on position (you know the one, it activates that annoying buzzing in the back of your head, relentlessly nagging you about work, family, responsibilities, blah, blah, blah....), will most assuredly guarantee that you will be dialing up not only your lawyer, but Swifty the bail bondsman within the first 30 minutes of stabbing the starter button on this hell spawn. Oh yeah my friends, believe it, the Diavel is that %#$&'n fast!! I had no idea............

 After I got the call last week from Jim McLaughlin at Ace Motorsports (http://www.eastbayace.com/) asking me if I'd like to take a Diavel out for an afternoon test (how long do you think it took me to stammer out "hell yes!"?) I started doing my homework. And that's when it actually began to sink in.......


The Termi slip-ons are works of art

 Uh oh, you've really done it now sunshine! You just might have gotten yourself over your head, shoulders and ass on this deal. Cool. Over a 160hp and 94lbs of torque at the rear wheel (on a machine that only weighs 441 pounds......do the math), zero to sixty quicker than you can say "not guilty", and brakes that hit harder than a Chuck Liddell front kick. More perspective? It has twice the horsepower and half the heft of my Road King.....and that's after I added the big bore kit and pipes!! The Diavel literally defies description......cruiser, sportbike, drag machine, what the hell is it? Answer, whatever it wants to be pal........it's the Diavel's world, we're all just hang-arounds. Once you throw a leg over this beast all that "categorization" mental masturbation is history. It is what it is......you either get it, or you don't.

The Diavel is muscular in the extreme, from its broad shouldered silhouette and flat snout, to the uber fat 240mm rear rubber, this machine is all red meat; aggressive, menacing, capable........ if you're not careful, it just might take your lunch money and your girl. From the single sided swing arm, to the amazingly crafted wheels and the Brembo monoblock anti-lock brakes (see the folks at Ducati are looking out for your hide) the Diavel demands your undivided, or else........lets just say you've been warned.


Yeah the rear meat's that wide

And right when you think you're starting to figure it out, that's when this crazy "Jekyll and Hyde" thing hits........the first thing I notice as I slide onto the seat is how comfortable and nearly perfect the riding position is.....WTF!?! No contorting, no pressure on the wrists, no crazy anatomic compromises. The bikes bars and my hands meet just where God intended, sweet. The pegs are just about right, not always the case when you're 6'2". Instrumentation is all digital, very easy to read and well thought out. Nice job Luigi. I stab the starter, and the Testastretta 11 degree motor stirs willingly. My particular machine was equipped with  Termignoni slip-ons, high performance air filter, and electronic control unit......good for about another 10 horsepower. Yeah, just what this bike really needs.........more horsepower. Yikes. But the "all business" exhaust note alone is worth the upgrade (think throaty, high reving, big displacement dohc V-8). Consider it a must.

The digital panel is fully visible even in direct sunlight

Keeping all this grunt and go in check is no mean feat, but Ducati manages it with a trick system that allows you to choose from three "power" settings; sport, touring, and urban. Pick urban, and the motor is limited to 100hp output (ponder that for a moment, when did 100hp at the rear wheel become the "novice safe setting"!?) with maximum traction control. Thoughtful. Touring and sport both have max horsepower (over 160hp stock, remember?) available, the difference being that the sport setting offers up minimum traction control. I chose touring........

Signature Ducati design

And we're riding.........hold the phone, where did all that heft go? Can this muscle-bound missile really be this light and nimble!? Short answer.......hell yes! At the risk of sounding like some "in the tank" Ducati hack, the Diavel is one of the best handling, most balanced, and comfortable street bikes your humble scribe has ever ridden. It's nothing short of amazing. It's a blast, point it in a direction and it goes, right where you want it........think Hypermotard meets 1198, sort of. But you get the idea.........On my favorite bendy road, with it's 41 degrees of available lean, the Diavel does a more than passable imitation of a sportbike. Try that on a V-Rod and you're tearing stuff up.

We put a little over a hundred miles on the Diavel; twisty roads, freeway and in town stuff. When you need it to be, the Duc is Dr. Jekyll, well mannered, a gentleman.......but whack the go stick, and you had better be ready my friend. Seriously, the beast is stupid quick. Light to light, nothing's gonna touch it, end of story. In fourth or fifth gear on the freeway, doesn't matter which, roll the throttle on from say 70, and you're clocking triple digits in a heartbeat. Best be workin those arms out Sparky! Luckily the Diavel has a deeply dished seat........or yours would be on the asphalt. To say that the Diavel's acceleration is rabid dog crazy is like saying Megan Fox is a "handful", while both statements are true, they don't do either justice........Trust me, you will not be able to observe the posted speed limit, ever.  At some point there's a good chance you will be arrested.........just keep that in mind when budgeting for the bike, and keep the lawyer on speed-dial.

I suppose an obvious question after testing the beast (taming is out of the question) is, would I ever buy one? To be honest, before I road the Diavel the answer would most likely be no. The steroid mutant styling cues would probably have kept me from signing on the dotted line........ this bike demands to be seen, and will be seen, you have no choice in the matter.....and I'm not a "look at me" kinda guy. I can't count the number of double takes I witnessed on my little test jaunt. If you want to blend, this ain't the rig for you. Oh, and if  (when) you're in the throttle constantly, the Duc's mileage suffers mightily......did I just mention "gas mileage"!? Shoot me.........if you're thinking EPA ratings at this point, we're both lost!

You gotta love that profile

But here's the story, the damn thing is so much fun, so over the top, so freakin' fast, that you just gotta have it. And after only a couple of hours, what seemed "over the top" design at first glance, started looking pretty damn good, as only Satan's scoot should. The fact that it's a felony waiting to happen only sweetens the deal......so for me, yeah, I'd buy one. I'd buy one today as a matter of fact...........because now I know. Make mine black please........

The Bay Area's Best Motorcycle Dealers

OK, let's just start with the disclaimer; my "Bay Area's Best" is biased, subjective, unscientific, uncertified, and purely the product of one man's opinion..........mine. That is not to say it doesn't have merit, or is necessarily inaccurate, mind you. After all, I've been toiling away in retail since I was seventeen years old, the last twenty or so years in the motorcycle industry. I've had the privilege of leading the marketing and merchandising team that built the first successful national chain of motorcycle clothing and accessories stores in the country.

Part of my gig entailed doing field research, looking at our potential competition in a given market..........and trust me, I've been subjected to the very best, and the very worst of what passes for customer service both at OE dealerships and independent shops. At last count I had personally visited over 100 Harley Davidson dealerships.......I'll bet there's quite a few marketing folks in Milwaukee that haven't seen as many.

So what's my criteria for making the list? Simple, do it right. And do it right in every aspect of the business, every time a customer, or potential customer comes in contact with the staff, how satisfactory is the experience? Are the folks in the business genuine? Motorcycling is a passionate pursuit......we all know that. When I'm in a dealership, or a store, I want to know that the staff "gets me", that they share the same passion for the sport as I do. You can't train that enthusiasm, it's there, or it's not. Nothing puts off a real rider more than a poser........you know, that mall store refuge that's a "great salesman", but doesn't know crap about a motorcycle. There ought to be a law..........

So enough about criteria, who the hell made the 2010 list for cryin' out loud? Thankfully for those of you that have toughed it out this far, there are only two. Cue the flugelhorn...........

McGuire Harley Davidson, www.mcguire-hd.com. Quite simply, if you live anywhere in northern California, and you're thinking about buying a Harley, you'd be nuts not to give them first shot at your business. Mike McGuire is the real deal, not some idiot dentist (my sincere apologies to all the Dr. Painless types out there) that made a few bucks and thought...."motorcycles are cool, think I'll buy me a dealership". No way. Mike's a riders rider. Want proof? How about scoring in the top ten in the Hoka Hey Challenge........it's a little cross country race from Key West Florida to Homer Alaska!! Oh, and for good measure, Mike rode out to Florida to start the ordeal, and home again from Alaska for a total of somewhere around 18,000 miles! That's top ten in an event with over 700 participants......

Mike's enthusiasm for riding and all things Harley resonates throughout the business. From Brady, Rich, Dave, Harry, and the rest of the crew in Service, I've yet to find a better, more competent tech staff. I know this personally, as they've handled all the mechanical "this and that" on my Harley's for years; whether it's been recall issues, big bore kit installs, or routine maintenance, these guys get it right, the first time, every time. And for me, that's huge. Bonus, they're friendly as well.........not always a common trait in the more mechanically inclined among us. Come on, you know it's true.

Same story in Parts; John, Dave and crew have truly scary levels of knowledge and are more than willing to share it. And the best thing about that? Once they've divined what it is you need, nine times out of ten they've got the part in stock. Huge again.

While McGuire's doesn't have the biggest Motorclothes department, what they do stock is right on the money, and Shannon and Rene will get you fitted up, and I guarantee you'll have a blast the entire time. Just don't try and wear that hoodie a little too tight to show off those guns...........Shannon isn't having any of it!

Does McGuire's have the largest Harley Davidson selection in northern California? No. And it simply doesn't matter because Steve, Ryan, Kevin and Shaun (hope I spelled that last one right, sorry buddy) will find what you need pronto should it not be in stock. And they'll do it in a low key, zero pressure environment.......there's none of that shady "used car lot" crap at McGuire's. Never has been. Just straight up, fair pricing and a sincere desire to take care of the customer. It just doesn't get any better..........and yes, in the interest of total disclosure, I have purchased a couple of bikes from Mike and company, why the hell would I recommend someone I wouldn't buy from!?! Jeez.........Oh, and one last thing, Mike owns another shop, Devil Mountain, in Pittsburg, and while I haven't been a frequent customer, they've got it going on there too...........it's Mike's store after all.

Ace Motorsports, www.eastbayace.com. You need to get over to Ace right this minute, if for no other reason than to check out one of the coolest, most well designed dealerships in California. Seriously, it ain't big, but it's smooth.........they've even got a lounge just to chill out in and BS about motorcycles, or whatever. Oh yeah, they get it. Ace sells Ducati, Triumph and KTM and always has a pretty robust stock on hand.

Jim, Ace's GM, is a force of nature, the dude is certifiable.........truly crazed, and that's what makes the place great, there's an energy at Ace that I've found nowhere else. It's young, it's fast, and it's professional. From Jim (different guy) in Parts to the crew in Service these folks are the real deal. They love motorcycles and they love riding........simple as that.

True story, a couple of years ago the Ducati road show was at Ace for a demo ride weekend. My buddy and I rode down to ogle all the new models and maybe catch a ride (or two) on the freshest two wheel sex from Duc. I had a real "need" to experience a 1098........oh baby. Imagine my utter depression when the shiny face from corporate Ducati informs me that some clown in Oregon (figures) wadded their only 1098 just last week. No ride. Frown.

Just when I thought I 'd have to console myself with a consolation putt on a "lowly" Monster, in steps Jim. "No worries" he says, and promptly pulls a just out of the crate 1098S and says, "have a blast!" Holy crap.......if I ball this machine up, it's on him, it's on Ace, not DNA. That was huge.........I was sold on the joint right then and there. My first Duc is coming from Ace; and my second, and my third.........hey a guy can dream.

Not sold? How about this........get done with a day of riding at Carnegie SVRA, my KTM's running like crap, which lead to a crash that broke my hand.....just one of them days. Anyhow, frustrated and in a fair amount of pain, we stop by Ace on the way home. I wanted to talk to the lads in Service about the bike's mechanical "issues" to see if they could offer up some solutions. They did way more than that. The unloaded my bike (broken mit remember), took off the tank, and looked at the carb. Turns out the pilot jet was clogged up solid. They took it out, cleaned it, put my rig back together and.......and that was it. "Oh, there's no charge, glad we could help you out" Say what!?

But that's how they do it at Ace, and no, I didn't buy my KTM there, although I wish I had, nor have I purchased any motorcycles from them, they were just helping out a fellow rider. That's all........simple in task, but massive in impact. If I were purchasing a Ducati, KTM or Triumph, why would I go anywhere else? Short answer, I wouldn't. These guys have got it going on.

That's it dear "Chromies".......my picks for the Best of the Bay Area. Think I'm whack, got some of your own? Let me hear it.........we're all big boys (and girls) gimme your picks.......