Ducati Diavel.........Satan's Scoot

The Ducati Diavel.....best in black, no?

Fair warning fellow Chromies; when piloting the Ducati Diavel, failure to flip the "grown-up switch" to the on position (you know the one, it activates that annoying buzzing in the back of your head, relentlessly nagging you about work, family, responsibilities, blah, blah, blah....), will most assuredly guarantee that you will be dialing up not only your lawyer, but Swifty the bail bondsman within the first 30 minutes of stabbing the starter button on this hell spawn. Oh yeah my friends, believe it, the Diavel is that %#$&'n fast!! I had no idea............

 After I got the call last week from Jim McLaughlin at Ace Motorsports (http://www.eastbayace.com/) asking me if I'd like to take a Diavel out for an afternoon test (how long do you think it took me to stammer out "hell yes!"?) I started doing my homework. And that's when it actually began to sink in.......


The Termi slip-ons are works of art

 Uh oh, you've really done it now sunshine! You just might have gotten yourself over your head, shoulders and ass on this deal. Cool. Over a 160hp and 94lbs of torque at the rear wheel (on a machine that only weighs 441 pounds......do the math), zero to sixty quicker than you can say "not guilty", and brakes that hit harder than a Chuck Liddell front kick. More perspective? It has twice the horsepower and half the heft of my Road King.....and that's after I added the big bore kit and pipes!! The Diavel literally defies description......cruiser, sportbike, drag machine, what the hell is it? Answer, whatever it wants to be pal........it's the Diavel's world, we're all just hang-arounds. Once you throw a leg over this beast all that "categorization" mental masturbation is history. It is what it is......you either get it, or you don't.

The Diavel is muscular in the extreme, from its broad shouldered silhouette and flat snout, to the uber fat 240mm rear rubber, this machine is all red meat; aggressive, menacing, capable........ if you're not careful, it just might take your lunch money and your girl. From the single sided swing arm, to the amazingly crafted wheels and the Brembo monoblock anti-lock brakes (see the folks at Ducati are looking out for your hide) the Diavel demands your undivided, or else........lets just say you've been warned.


Yeah the rear meat's that wide

And right when you think you're starting to figure it out, that's when this crazy "Jekyll and Hyde" thing hits........the first thing I notice as I slide onto the seat is how comfortable and nearly perfect the riding position is.....WTF!?! No contorting, no pressure on the wrists, no crazy anatomic compromises. The bikes bars and my hands meet just where God intended, sweet. The pegs are just about right, not always the case when you're 6'2". Instrumentation is all digital, very easy to read and well thought out. Nice job Luigi. I stab the starter, and the Testastretta 11 degree motor stirs willingly. My particular machine was equipped with  Termignoni slip-ons, high performance air filter, and electronic control unit......good for about another 10 horsepower. Yeah, just what this bike really needs.........more horsepower. Yikes. But the "all business" exhaust note alone is worth the upgrade (think throaty, high reving, big displacement dohc V-8). Consider it a must.

The digital panel is fully visible even in direct sunlight

Keeping all this grunt and go in check is no mean feat, but Ducati manages it with a trick system that allows you to choose from three "power" settings; sport, touring, and urban. Pick urban, and the motor is limited to 100hp output (ponder that for a moment, when did 100hp at the rear wheel become the "novice safe setting"!?) with maximum traction control. Thoughtful. Touring and sport both have max horsepower (over 160hp stock, remember?) available, the difference being that the sport setting offers up minimum traction control. I chose touring........

Signature Ducati design

And we're riding.........hold the phone, where did all that heft go? Can this muscle-bound missile really be this light and nimble!? Short answer.......hell yes! At the risk of sounding like some "in the tank" Ducati hack, the Diavel is one of the best handling, most balanced, and comfortable street bikes your humble scribe has ever ridden. It's nothing short of amazing. It's a blast, point it in a direction and it goes, right where you want it........think Hypermotard meets 1198, sort of. But you get the idea.........On my favorite bendy road, with it's 41 degrees of available lean, the Diavel does a more than passable imitation of a sportbike. Try that on a V-Rod and you're tearing stuff up.

We put a little over a hundred miles on the Diavel; twisty roads, freeway and in town stuff. When you need it to be, the Duc is Dr. Jekyll, well mannered, a gentleman.......but whack the go stick, and you had better be ready my friend. Seriously, the beast is stupid quick. Light to light, nothing's gonna touch it, end of story. In fourth or fifth gear on the freeway, doesn't matter which, roll the throttle on from say 70, and you're clocking triple digits in a heartbeat. Best be workin those arms out Sparky! Luckily the Diavel has a deeply dished seat........or yours would be on the asphalt. To say that the Diavel's acceleration is rabid dog crazy is like saying Megan Fox is a "handful", while both statements are true, they don't do either justice........Trust me, you will not be able to observe the posted speed limit, ever.  At some point there's a good chance you will be arrested.........just keep that in mind when budgeting for the bike, and keep the lawyer on speed-dial.

I suppose an obvious question after testing the beast (taming is out of the question) is, would I ever buy one? To be honest, before I road the Diavel the answer would most likely be no. The steroid mutant styling cues would probably have kept me from signing on the dotted line........ this bike demands to be seen, and will be seen, you have no choice in the matter.....and I'm not a "look at me" kinda guy. I can't count the number of double takes I witnessed on my little test jaunt. If you want to blend, this ain't the rig for you. Oh, and if  (when) you're in the throttle constantly, the Duc's mileage suffers mightily......did I just mention "gas mileage"!? Shoot me.........if you're thinking EPA ratings at this point, we're both lost!

You gotta love that profile

But here's the story, the damn thing is so much fun, so over the top, so freakin' fast, that you just gotta have it. And after only a couple of hours, what seemed "over the top" design at first glance, started looking pretty damn good, as only Satan's scoot should. The fact that it's a felony waiting to happen only sweetens the deal......so for me, yeah, I'd buy one. I'd buy one today as a matter of fact...........because now I know. Make mine black please........