Asylum Rants; News, Views & Rumors

Asylum Rants is yet another bonus feature from the staff here at CA, all one of them. When we hear something tasty from outside the walls, we're not gonna keep it to ourselves, just like mom taught us, we're gonna share. While we think this stuff is as true as the government is honest, it's up to you to do your homework, and if we've blown it, or you can add to the story, let us know. It's called dialog, and it works pretty well for everything but dating. Eat your heart out Drudge, here we go.

First off, a "Bigfoot" sighting that just won't go away, while at the same time refusing to gain much traction with what passes for media in the motorcycle world either. Seems a couple of sharp eyed Harley fans in the Kansas City area have spotted what appears to them at least, to be a water cooled Road Glide Ultra roaming the streets of their idyllic berg. The mystery machine is sporting radiators, shrouds and hoses. Hmmmm. A water cooled Harley, now where have we heard that one? Might have been, oh I don't know, here?! Before you go one word further, scroll over to the archive nav bar and search out "Water Boarding Harley Style" for some background on the whys and wherefores of the marriage of H20 and Milwaukee metal.

So why would this bike(s) be plying the boulevards of KC anyway, they don't even build touring machines there? True enough, the Motor Company's big twin touring beasts are spawned in York PA, but really sharp Chromies will remember that Harley's only watercooled lump is cobbled together at its Kansas City plant as the heart of the V-Rod. Starting to make sense huh? We're thinking its completely plausible that H-D has thrown together some test mules at KC and has been running them around town as they shake down the water pumper. Harley knows, as we all do, that the enviro-fascists at the EPA will eventually tighten the noose of emission standards to such a ridiculous degree that our beloved air cooled power plants won't have a prayer. Adapt or die as they say, and the while some say (the cretins) that the dinosaurs pushed out by the Motor Company deserve to go the way of T-Rex, we don't believe HD has any intention of landing on the endangered species list anytime soon. That said, don't think we're gonna be seeing a wet Road Glide anytime soon, but count on the fact that the touring machines are the most logical candidates to be fitted with radiators in the near future. Stay tuned.

While we're on the subject of building a better Harley, if you ever get the chance to tour the assembly plants (Kansas City or York PA) do it. The factories are simply amazing! Your guide is usually a retired plant worker which means you'll get tons of bonus fun facts and the best part is you actually get to walk the factory floor. None of this standing on some balcony fifty feet above the action, looking down as the great unwashed assemble toil away. Nope, you're right there among 'em. So much so, that you just might catch a glimpse of one of the Motor Company's elves giving you the stink eye; sometimes the tour groups do get in their way. But that's what's so neat, you're right there as a giant press stamps out FLH front fenders, or as the pistons get dropped into a pristine V-Rod motor. So cool. If you're an HD fan, hell, even if you're not (which calls into question why you're reading this drivel in the first place) you owe it to yourself to take the tour. All tours are free, and you can check out individual schedules on Harley's website (which I would advise, since there are days when the lines are shut down for maintenance and model change overs). Oh, and when you see the final "function" test, as the bikes are fired up and run on a dyno for the first time, you'll never think of "break-in" the same way again, trust me on this.

Our next tantalizing tidbit of truth wrapped in a blanket of speculation involves the 2012 touring line-up. Looks like the big guns are gonna lose the 96cu in. motors in favor of the 103cu in. unit as standard motive power. If true, and we think it is, we're stoked. As you know we tested a 2011 Road Glide Ultra equipped with the 103 power plant and were quite impressed at the improvement over the standard 96. Honestly, anything the Motor Company can do to increase the absolutely anemic horsepower numbers put up by their motors is good by us (it's no mystery why Harley never publishes HP data, Vespa might seriously consider getting into the big bike racket!). It's shameful really, you spend $25k+ on a shiny new Harley that couldn't beat a Subaru Forrester on its worst day in the quarter mile, only to discover that you're gonna have to drop another five to ten thousand to bring the beasts performance up to par with stock machines from the "competition". We think that's gotta stop. And maybe, just maybe, the 103 is the first step on the road to ending the nightmare of horsepower envy that so many of us Harley lovers have had to endure. Dare to dream...