Full Frontal Lids, 100% Biker, Believe That!

Few topics get a room full of bikers as hell bent, eyes bleeding, spit screaming, lit up as much as the subject of motorcycle helmets (or lids as they are also known, and for those in the audience on a first name basis with your local DEA station chief, we ain't talkin' those kind of lids); safe v. unsafe, cool v. lame, law v. choice, black v. everything else........the arguments are as endless as the government's appetite for our hard earned dough. And to be honest, we're not gonna solve much of anything here either, not really.......as a matter of fact we're not gonna accomplish much more than to add a dash more napalm to a Molotov cocktail. Come to think about it, that kinda sounds like fun, doesn't it!?

For the record, I wear a helmet, full face, and always have, even before the goons that pass for legislators in the Peoples Republic of Kalifornia decreed that if the proletariat choose to engage in two wheeled motorized transportation, they must do so with a "proper", PRK junta approved lid. Great for helmet sales, pretty shameful on the personal liberty front.

Just as choosing to ride a motorcycle in the first place is a deeply personal call, so too should the donning of a helmet. To "wear or not to wear" should be left up to the individual rider and not some faceless, over-paid, SEIU lapdog, bureaucrat........who's riskiest adventure to date was to order the hot wings at Applebee's on an empty stomach. Not the governments job to protect me from myself 24/7 in every aspect of my life. Go ahead, show me that amendment in the Constitution.......not there?! Didn't think so. Butt out.

Unfortunately that train has sailed, and it looks like, at least for now, most of us are going to be dealing with at least some sort of relentless "safety Nazi" blitzkrieg on our right to remain lid free.......just know, you smarmy little jack-weasels, we're coming for ya........start planning for an early retirement (you guys live for that anyway right?) in 2012. I'm just saying........

Now having said that I think helmet usage should be up to the individual motorcycle rider, it's pretty obvious to your humble scribe, that wearing a lid, just about any lid to be honest, is a pretty smart move. I've heard all the "restricted peripheral vision" arguments, as well as, the time tested "helmets cause broken necks" fiction, or the "you can't hear with a helmet on" lie.........all bulls*#t. There's simply no rational "scientific" argument against wearing a lid based on the premise that helmets are inherently "unsafe". Don't do it, you'll just look like an idiot. Really, don't do it.

If you think that wearing one is "uncool", fine. I can respect that. If you don't cotton to "The Man" telling you what to do, even better...........that dog hunts. If you want to head out on the mean streets with nothing more between your melon and the grill of that pimped out 'Sclade than a receding hairline......far out. This used to be America and you should be free to do just that. No judgements.

But here's the deal, not only do I think helmets make a dandy "buffer" between me and Terra-firma, but I think they can look pretty damn cool doing it..........and full face lids just might be the coolest of the bunch "style-wise". There. I said it.

What!? I know what you're thinking, if John Law says I have to sport a bowl on my noggin, I'm going for the absolute minimum.........screw them. My skull cap, my "novelty" helmet lets the whole world know, that I'm not taking any crap from "The Man". But let's think this through. Forget for a moment that a full face helmet is by far the most comfortable, quiet, and versatile helmet you could choose. And don't even think about the fact that over fifty percent of all "head to ground interface" incidents tend to impact the front of the face below the eyes, down to the jaw-line (yeah, nothing like having your fillings drilled on a bots dot). We're not the nanny state here, we accept risk willingly, and don't whine like a school girl when it bites us in the butt, no sir.........this isn't about "safety".

Nope, this is about style, and the full face rig has it in spades. Think about it, your head is completely surrounded in a battle-hardened shell, just like some medieval Templar knight. Not only that, with a dark smoke shield in place and flipped down, we have become truly mysterious to all who gaze upon your sinister being. Who is the man behind that "mask", sinner or saint, no one really knows? On the other hand, with an open face or half helmet, we're hanging it out there for all to see (oh, I know, you can wear a mask or scarf, and those are kinda cool..........except in the summer when it's a buck ten in the shade, with zero air flow).........and for some of us, maintaining our bad ass street cred is way more problematic when our decidedly non-threatening mugs are on display for the whole world to see. Personally, I like to keep 'em guessing.

Are all full face helmets equally cool you ask? Not at all. White helmets are out, don't do it. As are most any "race replica" graphic scheme........you wanna be Nicky, cool, buy an 1198R, not gonna play on a Harley (does it matter what the metric guys do?). By far the best bet is flat black, with a dark, dark, smoke shield. Stickers are optional, but at least one "Loud Pipes Save Lives" should be prominently affixed to bolster that "anti-social" biker vibe.........again, just think through your choices, devils heads good, Hello Kitty, not so much. You might have noticed that I haven't addressed "flip-up" or "system" helmets.....mostly because they confuse me. I know tons of cruiser guys are switching out to them, and that's good, I guess..........it's just that when the chin bar is down they look really cool, but when it's flipped up, oh damn, do they look lame! Remember Devo? Ah, most of you don't.........just trust me on this one.

Still don't think going "full frontal" is biker cool? Well my friend, start checking out your local club members (and just in case you need clarification, we're not referring to H.O.G. members here, think more on the lines of deaths head logos.......you feeling me now?) and see what they're sporting........more and more are doing the full face stealth thing. Need I remind you of the obvious advantages these helmets might offer those with a less than comfortable relationship with the local constabulary? And let's be honest here, these are the guys many of us look to when deciding what makes the cut when it comes to cool. You know it's true.......you might not want to admit it, but it is, and that's OK.

There you have it Chromies, not only can these full face jobs save your bacon, but they can look damn fine while they're doing it. Look, you've probably got to wear a lid anyway, why not bust out, and be at the pointy end of the spear and go full frontal and leave those mushroom top half-helmets to the wannabees and style challenged that "think" they're all bad ass biker. I won't tell them if you won't........