Water Boarding Harley Style

Come on now, you know it's bound to happen, it's just a question of when.......whether it's Uncle Sam's demand for ever stealthier sound standards, or The Peoples Republic of Kalifornia's environmental commissars ever tightening noose of allowable emissions.......we're gonna be riding water cooled Harley Davidson's. And sooner, rather than later. (note - yes, I know the V-Rod is water cooled, but as most Harley riders will tell you.....it just doesn't count, end of debate.)

The simple math is, for HD's of the future to meet standards, your grandads era air-cooled V-Twin ain't gonna make the cut. No way...........fact is, the Motor Company has been pushing and tweaking the Twin Cam Evo lump for all it's worth just to keep it certified in here on the Left Coast. But my motorcycle industry insiders (not at Harley Davidson it must be noted) tell me that unless the regs are rolled back, there's not many more rabbits to be pulled out of the fedora.

I can hear the wallet chains of the black clad purist rattling in rage at the very thought of a Softail sporting a radiator, or an Ultra Classic with Prestone in its veins. But would it really be that bad? Think about it. We all know the advantages of liquid cooling; higher horsepower, longer engine life, etc. Other than a nostalgic nod to "cool", there's not many technological advantages to the current finned beast. The key is that Harley do it right. And always give us a choice......air or water.

First off........the radiator. If it resembles even remotely that sail affixed to business end of a V-Rod, all bets are off. The radiator from a UPS truck would look better.......it's that bad. Don't even think about it Milwaukee........I mean it, don't. At the risk of really pissing off the true believers, I would advise looking east, to the Japanese. These folks know how to disguise unsightly plumbing better than anyone. Ever notice how you don't notice the radiators on any of their cruiser clones?? Very clever.

Or perhaps the Motor Company might consider an oil/air cooled design not unlike the original GSX-R. Worked pretty well, and didn't look half bad........and that was with 80's technology. Something tells me, it could be much more sano today.

The key is how the Milwaukee Mafia eases us into the water, one toe at a time, or bag over the face,strapped down and pouring it on. My guess is the former, they might start with the touring line (makes the most sense in terms of actual mechanical benefit), and with that maybe only one limited edition model. From there, depending on sales, "water boarding" versions could be introduced within each of the distinct model lines.

Who knows, maybe they'll even find a way to keep air cooled models chugging along as well, for those of us that still prefer our "paint shakers" as God intended, tempered only by the atmosphere. And Keith, just because we're making a potentially historical change here, I'm not thinking this is the time to make that move to those Chinese assembly lines that make your Wall Street buddies all moist (screw the brand, there's fatter margins to be had!)..... some things we just won't tolerate. Beat on the unions, but don't build our sleds anywhere but here........agreed?

So what's gonna be worth more? The first wet Ultra Classic, or the last air soothed Dyna? That's a quandary for the collecting set.......but mark this well my motorbiking minions, you will see the day when there will be yet on more way to singe your digits on a Harley........the radiator cap!