Tips For Two-Up Touring

I have to confess right from the outset that most of my road riding motorcycle adventures have been of the "solo" variety; at least solo from the standpoint of me being alone in the saddle. Don't know exactly why; just always felt right. The reality is, I probably just didn't want to be responsible for another person. And trust me, when it comes to "responsibility", riding a motorcycle is on a whole different level. Everyone and their second cousin has a damn "coma story" involving a motorcycling mishap..... no way I was going to be part of that drama. Not me. I knew the risks......and was willing to take them, but to ask another to do the same?? Don't think so. Or maybe I just didn't want to buy lunch.....whatever.

The fact is, it's truly liberating never having to worry if the person "in the back" noticed that clunky shift, or how you damn near stuffed the back of that Tahoe while staring at some "Real Housewives" wannabe exiting the Safeway parking lot, or if your penchant for consuming cheeseburgers at nearly every "gas stop" was bordering on the excessive. No one's damn business! My bike never ratted me out. Adding a third to the party was just awkward, in a "this is a threesome that's never making the Forum letters column", kind of way. Just wasn't natural. This isn't to say I don't like riding with other people, I do. Sort of. Maybe I have trust issues??? No matter, we have motorcycling wisdom to inflict.........

Are you experienced? That's not just a cool Jimi Hendrix line, it's a real "no BS" assessment you need to make about both yourself and your passenger. Here's the deal, your motorcycle is gonna respond and handle in potentially unnerving ways when you've got your baby on board. At the very least, braking distances will be longer, acceleration will be slower, and low speed maneuvers that much more tricky.......all because of the extra weight (a point best not mentioned to your significant other, no matter how well intentioned). If you're not ready for a some two-up fun, say so.

While we're at it, ask your potential adventure buddy if they've actually been on a motorcycle before. Sounds like an obvious thing to do, but trust me, most bikers don't bother to enquire. If the closest thing to motorcycle riding little Betty has experienced is season two of Sons of Anarchy, you probably don't want to discover this little tidbit as you tear into a decreasing radius corner on Highway 88. Can't you just see it? You leaning in as God intended, while your terror stricken passenger using all her eighth grade gymnastic skills, throws her body in the exact opposite direction you're leaning in a heroic effort to save you both from whatever idiocy possessed you in the first place..........oh yeah, now that's fun.

While you're telling her that it's OK for bikes to lean over, let her know that she's gonna be moving backward and forward on her perch as well, maybe even clunking noodles now and then. And this too is OK. When the machine brakes, she scoots forward, when you take off from a light, she'll be sliding rearward. How much is going to be determined by your right hand and her weight (as we know, that last factoid is better left unsaid). As for you, when in doubt, remember you can't go wrong with a "smooth application of the controls".

Don't forget to clue your potential ridemate into the fact that motorcycles get hot. Really hot. Show her the areas they should avoid touching at all times. You want the ride to be memorable, but not for the third degree burns she'll be sporting on her calf for the next fifty years. And let her know the best way to "enter" and "exit" the vehicle while avoiding the aforementioned hot zones, and only when you say you're ready....parking lot tip-overs can spoil a ride every bit as much a scorched limb.

Lastly, and this one's pretty important, make sure that your passengers safety stuff is at least every bit as good as yours. Just because she's not holding the bars doesn't mean she's not gonna slam the ground just as hard as you........crashing is an equal opportunity crap storm. Make sure she's got the right gear, no paper mache' helmets and flip-flops......this is where you really get to show you care, and avoid a nasty liability lawsuit in the process. Nothing says "I love you" like a Snell rating.

So get out there, share the ride, show those close to you what it is that we love to do.........and with any luck, after a few rides, they'll buy their own bike. Is that bad? Maybe it's a sharing thing..........

Neutral Is Cool If You're Switzerland, Not So Much On A Motorcycle

Ah gentle readers, I have to start with a bit of a confession. And as with most confessions, I'm nagged by a faint sense of shame, of that little smug voice in my cranium; ".....told you so, you shouldn't have looked!"

But I did look, and look again.......at the traffic counter for this very blog. Hmmmm. It would appear that I should change the name of this blog to "Table for One"! Hey, Snookie's career wasn't built in a day, nor most likely was her chest either........so I'll soldier on, if only for that one reader.........mom, mom are you there??? Dammit.......

On task now. I've been riding motorcycles for over 32 years, all kinds of bikes; sportbikes, enduro and motocross machines, even those lead sleds from Milwaukee. Spoiler alert, I'm a relatively late convert to the cult of Harley Davidson, but I do like the machines, own two, and am pretty fond of riding the piles. Say what you will, but nothing in the motorcycling world is as good at being a Harley as a Harley. I've never raced (unless you consider an enduro a race, which no self-respecting racer would), but I've run professional AMA road race teams; I'm not a designer, but I've helped design and market all manner of parts, accessories and clothing for my fellow motorcyclists; I'm not an "Iron Butt" guy, but I've got more miles on two wheels than I can count; I'm not a writer, but..........well, you get the idea. And my point would be?

Sound question, you're paying attention, good. The aforementioned shameless promotion of my motorcycling bona fidis, was merely my way of illustrating that while I may be an old windsack, I'm a windsack with a lot of seat time........

Which brings me conveniently to the thrust of this already too lengthy missive; taking a neutral stance while loitering about an intersection.........or more accurately, slipping the bike into neutral while waiting for the signal to change. Just the other day while terrorizing, as only a middle aged guy can, the back roads of east Contra Costa county on "Paint Shaker", the mighty '06 FLHRCI (for those that don't speak Harley, translation; 2006 Road King Classic) I came to a light as I entered town, pulling up behind a fellow on a late model BMW GS.....you know, an adventure bike. We waited.

As the light switched to green, I spied my fellow riders left foot retract gracefully up from the ground, and with a gentle downward "snick", he clicked into first gear and accelerated off into the distance. Which I have to confess is a pretty common occurrence when you ride a Harley, most everything accelerates off into the distance.......personally I draw the line at Kia's. The point being, the entire period of time my new found friend was sitting at the light, he was in neutral, and just one social networking, type A, soccer mom away from being a decidedly reluctant recipient of an SUV enema.

Here's the deal kids.........NEVER, and I mean NEVER sit at a light, stop sign, or lemonade stand with your motorcycle in neutral.........ever!! Should bad things happen, the extra time it takes for you to recognize the threat, click it into gear, and begin to accelerate out of Dangerville, means you're likely to get an up close and personal glimpse of Obama-care in action. Not good.

It's all about reaction time, being in gear at a stop means you'll be able to scoot should the situation call for it just that much quicker. And that fraction is likely to be the difference. It has been for me, on more than one occasion. And while we're at it, give your passenger a heads up that when you're at a light, stay frosty, and be ready for a quick acceleration even if the light is still red......remember, leave no one behind!

And so endith the lesson..........mom, your thoughts??? If anyone else happened to stumble upon this blurb and managed to struggle to the end.......am I whack? Got another angle, topic, or whatever......let me know........