Doing The Wave

Whether you're new to this whole zany world of two wheeled wackiness, or have been around long enough to bore everyone in your "social network" (Rant alert! At least in the old days you had to make a real effort to be dull, face to face, one at a time......until their eyes bled.....now with the click of a mouse you can inflict the most tedious and mundane aspect of your life on hundreds, if not thousands of unsuspecting victims.......status update........"toast or bagel today?" Really!? Thank you Facebook.) with your only slightly exaggerated tales of incredible asphalt antics,"......there I was, doing a 180, around a blind 90 degree corner, on a '79 Shovelhead, in the rain"; you've no doubt noticed that when you're out on your scoot that a lot of folks are doing "the wave".

Seems that just about every motorcycle you pass offers up some sort of seemingly benign gesture, most likely an ever so subtle flick of the left hand. If you're a rookie, do not be alarmed, these salutes are not some sort of sinister gang initiation right........they are just what they appear to be, a friendly recognition of a fellow brother or sister. It's perfectly acceptable behavior to shoot them a wave right back, or beat them to the punch and offer one up first yourself. Simple as that, we're good, right? Well, not quite.

"You're not worthy". You see my friend, long ago in the unenlightened times (think early 80's) there was an unwritten motorcycling hierarchy if you will......... in those days one didn't just wave, or return a wave willy nilly, oh hell no. Recognition had to be given, deference paid, and deciding which course of action to take had to be determined within a beat of a piston. It went something like this..........

Harley guys only waved to other Harley guys, unless the Harley rider was a club member, they didn't wave to anyone, and really weren't too keen on being waved at. When in doubt, best to keep your hand on the bars, trust me on this. Sport bike guys never waved at Harley guys, or Goldwing guys, or anyone else for that matter if the other guy was piloting a machine that didn't appear to be capable of topping out at 150mph or above. Riders of Japanese sport bikes, would wave to the Euro sport guys and vice versa; although I have heard tales of "Guzzi people" that wouldn't ever wave, no doubt the additional wind resistance would cause undo deceleration. Urban legend? Dunno. For the most part Brit guys were pretty friendly......pub culture has its benefits! Touring guys always waved to other touring guys, unless they were on a Harley, then nada. Wingers were at the pointy end of the spear, and they knew it. Lastly we had the adventure touring guys........they pretty much stuck to themselves, all twelve of them. Of course it should be noted that the BMW GL folks never seemed to wave to their fellow "adventurists" either, no doubt too busy trying to get that pesky leg zipper properly done up on the old Aerostitch suit.....who has time for cretins anyway. And no one, ever, ever waved at anyone on a scooter...........ever!

But that was then, what about now? Fair question sunshine. I'm happy to report that over the decades we motorcyclists have evolved, become enlightened.........the old wave rules are dead, long live the old rules.

So we can just do whatever the hell we want then, right? Well, sort of, within reason, I mean we can't  have social anarchy and chaos out on America's highways, can we? Hardly my fellow Chromies, hardly. And while it's perfectly permitable these days to wave to any guy or gal on any make or model machine you want (for the record, I'd still leave the club guys be, and scooters, well, that's up to you) there are still some basic laws of protocol and etiquette which should be followed, lest you throw an ill advised wave and be forever branded a clueless RUB, and by a total stranger you'll never see again no less......shutter! So here goes.

Keep it on the down low.......your wave that is. The farther above the bar, the dumber the wave, you're not on a damn Thanksgiving Day float for crissake. Hand off the bar, slightly aft, drop it about six inches and your good. And keep it still, any deductible motion on the part of the "waver" screams "you like me, you really, really like me......right!?",which is just plain creepy, thus putting any potential return wave in dire jeopardy. Keep it short, low and cool. But where to wave? Waves are usually reserved for two lane roads, away from congested city streets.........If you're separated by a wide median or jersey wall, it's OK to keep your hands on the bars. Same goes in corners, don't wave if you're not comfortable with it.............trust me, you'll know. In general, if it feels right..............do it! Or don't.

To give or receive? Your choice my brother, it's a free country (except for the Peoples Republic of California, New York and New Jersey of course).......play it as you see it. Just remember, don't start your wave prematurely, by that I mean you should be able to make a positive ID on the approaching motorcycles make and model before throwing your salute.........this also ensures you'll never mistakenly wave at a scooter. Mostly. If there's a long line of on-coming bikes, just keep your motionless mit out there until the entire group passes.....don't try and execute dozens of individual waves, you'd look like a mime on crack. A word of caution about big events. Once you get within a fifty mile radius of some large rally, Sturgis or Daytona come to mind here, it's perfectly permissible not to wave, actually it's gonna be impossible anyway, too many bikes. Don't worry, by this time you're probably noticing no one is waving at you either. Just ride the damn motorcycle and enjoy all the company.........you can wave on the way home.

If you're lucky enough to have a passenger, they're more than welcome to throw down a wave of their own, as a matter of fact, I've noticed quite a few couples have delegated the greeting task completely to one in the back. I dunno, kinda like to get my hello straight from the captain, but that's just me.

Lastly, don't worry if you toss it out there and get...................zip, ziltch, nothin'. It's OK, maybe the other guy didn't notice, had a fight with his boss.......whatever. You made the effort, good on you. Surely the next guy will return the favor. And wave at everyone no matter what they ride, there really aren't many of us out there on the mean streets and we need all the friends we can get (which means if a cage driver shows you some kindness, throw 'em a "thank you brother" wave)......I like to think of the whole deal as making penny deposits in my roadside karma account, ain't much at first, but it adds up. Which is another reason I always give my fellow brothers a heads up when John Law is about.......oh, that's a pat on the noggin with your left hand.........universal signal. And you thought you wouldn't learn anything..........